It doesn't matter if you're large or small
Trapezoid, or short or tall
Even if you can't dance at all
All you really gotta do is shine

It doesn't matter if your life's a mess
The whole process will coalesce
Girls, just try to effervesce
All you really have to do is shine

It doesn't matter if you're unemployed
Only partially humanoid
An octopoid whose mind's a void
All you gotta do is shine

It doesn't matter if you're born in Leeds
They love to see a heart that bleeds
You'll all be stars one day, you'll see
All you really gotta do is shine

You might be feeling lousy
You might be feeling blue
A little disenchanted
A minor touch of flu
They couldn't give a monkey's cuss
They couldn't give a fig
Come on girls get over it
It's all part of the gig

Give them that old rinkle tinkle
Give them the old kabam
Grab the buggers by the bollocks
Knock 'em sideways, blow their minds out
Keep it coming, keep it coming
There's no time for half-assed frolics
Give them that old razzle dazzle, and shine

It doesn't matter if you're short or squat
Cerebrally challenged, completely shot
You might have it, or might not
All you really have to do is
All you really have to do is shine
Give them that old razzle dazzle and shine
Give them that old razzle dazzle and shine, and shine, and shine